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"How old are you, Mrs. Shoemaker?" I asked, looking at the high, plastered ceiling and enjoying the warmth and smell of our mutual efforts."Silvie," she said, "I'm called Silvie, and I'll be twenty next month. How old are you?"I told her. "How long were you married?" Nearly three years." She buried her fingers in my groin, grasped the base of my slack rod and then poked at my aching stones. "Are you wed?"I shook my head and smiled at her, my fingers exploring deep in her mound. "So you were sixteen and he was, what, seventy-something?" Seventy-five I think." She grabbed my head and pulled my mouth to hers."Why?" I asked when I could speak."Didn't have a choice," she said, finding my turgid root again and holding it firmly, fingers tickling at my stones.I turned toward her, captured her far breast with my hand and the closer one with my mouth. They were full and upright, conical rather than round, the nipples fully engorged. She turned a bit toward me to make my attention easier. She. I had saved the best for her. I reached behind me and picked up the shiny red apple I kept aside each year for the child I considered the most deserving of the pre-criminals that normally descended on me at Halloween.With great pomp and a huge smile, I lifted the apple high and dropped it in the center of her bag.I was not at all prepared for her response. With a shriek that reminded me of some of my worst times with my first wife, she tore into me, spittle flying everywhere.“You stupid motherfucker. You have busted every one of my Goddamned cookies. You don’t have the sense of...”I tuned her out the same way I had survived Harpy #1 and vowed to never again answer the door when the witches were flying.✧ ✧ ✧Say thanks to mixerman478 for this one.Q: What does the devil have between his legs?A: He has great balls of fire.Q: Why can’t the ghost have any children?A: He has a Halloweenie.Q: What happened to the cannibal who showed up late to Halloween dinner?A: They gave him the cold.
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