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”She is looking me dead in the eye, no sign of the stare fading either, she knows I’ve seen it, shit.She puts her glass down, scratches her nose and then looks down.“Hope you enjoyed rifling through my knickers as well, oh and you didn’t put my vibe back in the right place either.”She looks crestfallen, “I’m sorry Vee, I shouldn’t have…..” but my words are cut out by her laughter, uncontrollable belly laughs “ I wanted you to look, I left the drawer open on purpose, I left my vibe in a place you’d find it, I even left my worn pants out, do you really think I’d have done that if I didn’t want you to sniff them. I had hoped to come home and catch you unawares as you wanked off into them."I should have been more savvy, of course it was all so staged, I was so turned on at the time that logic went out of the window.“What did you think of the Dvd, not the greatest porno ever was it ?” she enquires.“Errn no, but 10/10 for effort, Nathan is eager if nothing else.”“Bless him, he’s got a heart. Furious. Hands on her hips and everything."I swear to God," she said, "you men are all alike! It's always about that thing in your pants!"Guilty as charged.Then she said something weird. At the time I thought maybe she pitied me.Now I realize she was cursing me. As in, putting a curse on me.She said: "That Dick of yours is going to ruin your life."And then she slapped me. So hard I saw stars. Everything went white.When I came to, I was sprawled out on the ground next to the park bench. It was dawn. Damn, she hit me hard. Fucking Tae-Bo.I picked myself up, went home, rubbed one out, and slept away the rest of the long weekend.Next week at work, Bam! Wendy.Fucked up, huh? Turning every man's dream into my nightmare. Giving me the ability to have any woman, but not letting me control it.Shit happens.The hard-science-fiction types and dungeonmasters are at this point probably salivating for the technical details of my, um, affliction. So I'll open it up for a little Q&A.When does Dick.
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