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I'm a 6'6 averaged bodied male. I hate being alone, it's the worst kind of pain, and the only thing that really bothers me. I walked out into the living area same as always, people look up but never saying anything to me. Tonight they're playing bags, I walk over to the microwave and placing my ramen inside. I turn and see her not knowing she was the beginning, all I saw her as was the girl who was a bitch to me no matter how nice I was to her all because I made a harmless lil joke about how her ass was to small to grab a door handle with it. And that's when it happened "Look at her! So smug and happy!" I heard him loud and clear not like before when I was younger, when he was just a whisper in the back of my mind. But now...now he was in the front seat next to me on the passenger’s side of my life. I took my ramen out of the microwave and rushed back to my room slamming the door behind me. I looked in the mirror doors of my closet and saw my reflection standing there staring at me.. Occasionally, it was almost as if he could see an iron lock around the book, the word ‘Private’ stamped across the cover in letters of purple, like an old bruise that made him physically wince when he looked at her. He often wished, during these times, that he could simply lay open his heart and let her take what she needed until she would let him back in. Over the course of years, as he kept falling in love with her, the richness of her text nourished his heart until it often times swelled to near bursting. And sometimes, in response to a slight, imagined or real, his heart would harden towards her for a time, until he could open himself up again, reducing the callous-like exterior that he had formed to the size of a scar. And while after a time he had several of these scars of varying sizes, their occasional twinge of pain was as nothing compared to the thought that struck him at times – what if I lost her? It was a simple thought really, but the enormity that lay behind it.
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