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‘N-no,’ she admitted after a time. ‘But it doesn’t matter. Eventually he’ll change his mind and see what’s always been here waiting for him, right under his nose. He’s a man. Men are fickle. They chase the beautiful girls, but they don’t marry them.’ I fought to keep my face blank because her words had hit deep. ‘He’s a Minister,’ Jenny continued. Her voice gained volume as her argument gained strength. ‘You don’t actually think you’d fit into this world, do you? You know nothing about this. You’re probably not even Presbyterian! You don’t know what he needs and even if you did, you couldn’t give it to him.’ The absurdity of the situation hit me then, just as strongly as the brisk breeze off the ocean. Apparently my arrival had ruffled a few hens’ feathers. Jenny Macintyre didn’t know me as well as she thought she did but she was about to find out. It only took three strides to stand towering over her. The cold granite tombstone was the only barrier between us. An unexpected. I used to do this without any question. Just make sure you pluck eyebrows at a time when no one will see you with temporary reddish plump from the plucking. It goes without saying that man-hair problems should be taken care of anyway. Keep the nose trimmed and the ears plucked. Ear hair is gross. Other options include, but are not limited to body lotions and conditioners, bleaching what hair you keep, and being conscientious about all areas of hygiene. Mostly, when it’s said and done, simply clean yourself up. Your outer boy will benefit just as much as your inner girl–it just feels great and feels clean. 2) Spoil Your Girly SelfLearn to enjoy the spa treatment. Take scented bubble baths, do facemasks, and moisturize with girly lotions. Paint your toenails feminine colors and use clear polish on your fingernails. Don’t forget to clean your cuticles, having them softly tapered back. You could also try some slight growth that you could file to a more oval shape. Use a little foundation.
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