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She was staring at the ceiling. I asked her. “Why do you hate me so much?”She looked into my eyes. “Because you destroyed my life.”“How did I do that?”“By marring me. All my life I have been a possession, But when I was a little girl I had a dream that one day someone would rescue me and love me and I would belong with someone rather than too someone. I knew that it would never happen so I had reconciled and accepted that I would be a possession and that is all I would ever be. I had everything figured out. I had boiled everything down to a simple formula. I could live my life being owned or take my life and be free. Simple huh. So far I have decided that being owned is good enough for me until it isn’t any more.“How did my marring you screw that up?”“Our marriage fed the dream, I had everything worked out and my life, while not very pleasant was acceptable. I was ok with being a cunt. My problem is that I need to be used, otherwise I have no value. I could live with not being loved. She hadn't realized how fast time was passing. It was almost midnight before she knew it. April had a problem estimating the passage of time, since her sleep patterns were so erratic.After April removed her jeans and bra she climbed into the bed wearing only her fancy tee shirt and bikini panties. She lay in bed where she realized that her recent visit from Mordecai had her taking stock of herself. She was painfully honest in her evaluation. She was forty eight years old, and twenty pounds above her ideal weight. Actually she was carrying twenty five more pounds than she had carried in Afghanistan. She knew that she needed to lose weight. Because of the long hours in surgery over there, and then the long hours at Urgent Care had done a number on her knees she couldn't run. She also knew that becoming a yuppie gym rat just wasn't going to happen, so she would have to just live with her lack of exercise. She also wasn't having much luck controlling her eating.Shaking her head she.
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