We’re just renting.”“Why would you do a bunch of work on a place that you don’t own? What a waste!” Okay, second difference in the blondes. This one had a whiny voice and big round sunglasses. I just shook my head.“Didn’t want to live in a pigsty,” I said.“We already pay too much in rent and have a tiny room we have to share. I’m not giving the creep who owns the place any more than I have to.” Number three. Pink sunglasses, pink patches of fabric that barely covered her nipples, and teeth that betrayed her perfection by being slightly too big for her mouth. “Could you come and cut our grass? We’re just two houses down.”“Um...” Shit. Why is it I always feel obligated to help others. Especially when it’s three stacked blondes standing almost topless on the sidewalk.“Jett, honey, I brought you a Coke and came out to help with the flowerbeds,” Kelly said from behind me. The blondes’ plucked eyebrows shot up as they took an involuntary step back. I turned and grinned at Kelly. She hadn’t. Lifting up her dress past her waist there was the sexiest damn black panties. They ran from her little hips to her crotch in kind of gauze like petals joined together. And they weren’t strappy but they weren’t all that large either. Now this whole thing happened in an instant so I didn’t have time to be shocked. So I answered quite truthfully, “No, as long as you keep your dress down one can’t see your panties.”By the time we got to the church I had recovered my composure or at least most of it. I was still having very un-church like thoughts in my head. We found one of the short pews that churches sometimes have in order to use all the space near the middle of the church. We were able to sit on the end with just two other middle aged couples. It was actually a pleasant service until we got to the sermon. Like many ministers when they got on what they felt was an important topic, they tend run a bit long. I am sure there were a lot of women leaning over quietly whisper to the man.
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