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Sometimes it's easy to be the victim. Sometimes our fearand humiliation hang over us, like a prison sentence. I letthis happen to me because somewhere I harbored the beliefthat I deserved what I got for being the stupid fuck I am.The CD changed it. It was a mix of songs, as usual, piratedfrom some music site, and burned onto the blank CD. 80minutes of music. That's all it was. Or, all it SHOULD HAVEbeen. Instead, it was a key. One, it reminded me who I usedto be. And two, it was the specific song. It reawakened aspark of resistance.The song was 'Down with the Sickness', by Disturbed.Something in it gave rise to a little voice. A whisper inthe back of my mind. It didn't SPEAK, per say, but was arealization. Physical strength was not power, and Furynever went away.I pondered on these thoughts, musing over them in the daysfollowing the discovery of the CD. It had been in a softbinder of loose pages in a CD jacket, and had obviouslyfallen out long before I started along my path as. Her mother was at it again, remembering. She got off the bed and picked her bikini up from the floor. She started to slip into it, until she felt how clammy the air conditioner had made the damp material.She selected a pair of tight shorts from her dresser instead, and was searching for panties when she heard her father's voice turn impatient and strained.She listened again. She heard him talking, but she couldn't make out the words. She cracked open the bedroom door and saw that their door wasn't closed all the way. She heard her father distinctly then."Tish, you've got to stop this!" he groaned. "God, look at it! Honey, I love you and need you, and it's as stiff as a board! You said you could do it. That's why we came back from the beach. You can't keep telling me you can and then turn me away when you get me like this! Christ, I can't take much more, Tish!" I'm sorry, David!" Tish wailed. "Oh, God - cover it up! Don't make me look at it!" We can get under the covers, Tish - you.
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