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Don’t try to find me. I am not going to my parents’ house or any of my cousins or friends’ place. And no, I am not going to any of my lovers’ places either. Just let me be for a few days. I’ll keep emailing you to inform you I am safe. When I have done enough thinking, I’ll come back. Until then, you do some thinking too. Think about our future, if you think we should have one together. And how we should live it. Love, Shilpa P.S. I am leaving my cellphone here so you or anyone else doesn’t get in touch with me. I read the letter three times in shock. She had just taken off while I was sleeping. Gone AWOL. Supposedly to think. Probably to think. But was there some other reason, I wondered. I stood there thinking for a couple of minutes when I was reminded of the sales call. Trying to put Shilpa out of my mind, I quickly showered, got ready and left for the call. A week went by very quickly. Shilpa was still not back. She’d send me one email everyday. With the same text in all of them. * * *Damn! I was out of cigarettes. Smoking is a stupid, filthy habit, Iknow, and a health hazard. I know I should quit, but knowing and doingare two different matters. Someday, I tell myself. But "someday" neverseems to be today.I promised myself that I'd do a solid three hours of work, without abreak, and then reward myself with a smoke. Now, out of cigarettes, Iwant one even more than I might have wanted one otherwise. It seems wewant anything we can't have the most, just because we can't have it.I'd have to get dressed, cross the street, and buy a pack at thedrugstore. I really hated to do so, though; I like being naked. Well, Itold myself, the sooner I went, the sooner I'd get back, be able to shedmy clothes again, and enjoy a smoke.My clothes--the few I have--are in the walk-in closet in the masterbedroom--the one with the canopy bed with the pink, ruffled curtains andthe doll collection and the teddy bears and the vanity table in thebathroom, fully loaded with cosmetics,.
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