She just loved the experience and I loved doing it to her. I was planning to do it again on this trip.My plan was to head back towards our campsite and see if we could see any smoke again. If we did, we'd try to find a way to get close enough to see what was causing it. Everyone told us to be careful. Even Vicky warned me to take care.My plan didn't happen. As I pulled out of our settlement I turned south instead of west. It took me a second or two to realize what was going on. A second or two later I was getting calls from the settlement. My wife was on the horn wanting to know what was going on. Fiona and Francine wanted to know as well. Everyone was concerned. I just sighed."I don't know," I called back to everyone. "I guess our 'benefactors' want us to go somewhere else for a change. I'll let you know where we end up when we get there."It wasn't an answer that people wanted to hear, but it was what they got. I just drove on for a while, letting whatever was guiding me lead the. Perhaps, also, how it is possible to gain confidence and agency, and to deepen your deference to my daughter at the same time. Is that it?”“Uh, yeah?”“Why are you asking me this, and not her?”She was right. This was something I should be relying on Fiona for. It was so difficult, though. Aideen was also my confidant. She knew all the ways I was broken, or at least as much of it as I could tell her in one sitting, so she might understand my doubts better, and be gentler. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Fiona, just that asking her something like this was really uncomfortable.She sighed.“Very well”, she said. “I’ll try to point you in the right direction. What is stronger, me, or the floor I’m treading?”I looked down at the floor for a moment, puzzled.“If I went away, would the floor stay the same?” she said. I nodded. “And if the floor would disappear, would I remain standing?” I shook my head, but I didn’t understand.She saw the confusion in my eyes and smiled at me.“You’re so clever I.
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