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Hello old witch.’ ‘Be nice to me or I will turn you into a butt plug. You have to be nice to me anyway, I just bought the dirty pictures. Hi Maggie, how are you sweetheart? I am saddened to see your taste in men.’ ‘Hi Aunt Wendy. I did not know you were a fan of his.’ ‘The picture of that enormous oak tree in front of a shanty you see on my living room wall is his. You are going to see three more next week, if he signs them with an appropriate comment this time.’ ‘I have not seen any writing on the oak tree picture.’ ‘It is on the back. He wrote: To a fine Lady With Magnificent Tits.’ ‘I am not laughing. I am so not laughing.’ ‘You bought the dirty pictures? There is more to you than meets the eye, difficult as that may be.’ ‘Thank you. They are magnificent aren’t they?’ ‘What dirty pictures?’ ‘I guess you have not made it to that end of the exhibit. I apparently have some business to attend to. Miss MacDuff, why don’t you take your niece and show her what you bought?’ * ‘I can’t. ‘I didn’t. I did everything I could to turn him off. We just grew on each other.’ ‘So where did you meet him?’ ‘He’s in my maths class.’ ‘Maths! My God, he’s always moaning about the maths. Makes him surly as a bear. He must have been as off putting to you as you were to him.’ Angel grinned. ‘Something like that.’ John started shifting and looking down. He was obviously unsure about something, embarrassed even. ‘Umm. I don’t quite know how to say this.’ Angel looked at him in confusion. ‘You see … Umm … What I mean is … He … well he had a bad experience …’ Angel surprised herself by reaching out to touch John’s arm. ‘He told me about it.’ John’s look of surprise was comic. ‘He what?’ He almost shouted, and was immediately bright red to the roots of his hair. The others looked over. In a much quieter voice, he went on, ‘I’m sorry. That was an appalling reaction. It’s just I don’t think he’s looked at a girl since, and telling anyone apart from his closest friends is about as likely as.
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