I just held her tight to my chest as my mom tried to hold me. I couldn’t cry at first. I was in shock. It was when I looked down at her tiny face, and she looked like she was only sleeping, laying so peacefully in my arms did I crack. I started to cry, which I think relieved everyone, but then I couldn’t stop crying. I was crying for Rebekka Rose, I was crying for the father she never knew, and the man who never had the chance to be a father, I was crying for me and I was crying because I didn’t know how not too anymore. After I while I just became too tired to do anything but lay there. They had taken her from me after a while. I laid there while my mom held me and my family watched me. I couldn’t do anything, I didn’t want to do anything. It felt like the life had been sucked right out of me. Eventually they made me leave, made me go home, told my family to watch me. I wasn’t going to do anything. I had no energy to do anything, never mind what they obviously thought I was going. The same thing happened as the last time she spent the night here." The words spilled quickly out of her mouth. I could see the worried and agitated state she was in. I felt guilty now at having been the cause of it. Perhaps CO2 was right, maybe I should let him fix things the way I wanted them to be. Ginny had seemed much happier before I started worrying about her being able to exercise her own free will."CO2 already filled me in on what took place here between the two of you. Do you still think its okay for you to keep having sex with Connie while you deny me the same privilege?" I can't stop you. I already know that much. Where were you?" I told you I went away for awhile to think about things. I'm back now. I decided that I should start doing what I want to do. Has Kaitlyn had her nap yet?" I was just going to give her some lunch and put her down for her nap. Did you decide about me yet?" I think so. I'm going to call Connie and see if she wants to come over here to take a nap.
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