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Don’t get me wrong, I don’t exactly sit around all day stressing about my mother’s well-being. God, how lame do you think I am? But the fact is, I knew she wasn’t supes happy, and I think I’d worked out why.She was lonely.Now, this isn’t Clueless - I wasn’t about to go around setting up every middle-aged sad-sack I knew. But it was my mother, and so I couldn’t help but wonder if there was anything I could do to help.I was literally in the middle of asking myself exactly that when Mom spoke up, and ... I mean, it was almost weird. Like she could read my mind or something.“Tiff,” she said hesitantly, without taking her eyes off the road for a second. “How would you feel about giving me a makeover?”I bit back the sarcastic retort that I normally would have relied with, and replied softly.“Sure thing, Mom. We’re going to get you totally babeing.”I may have been a bit generous with that response. I mean, my mother is a billion years old - how babeing can you really get, when there were. He was happy that he remembered to park his truck down the street. Helen didn't know he was here, he hoped.Janet took a deep breath and went for the rum bottle. She took a huge swig off the bottle and then another for good measure. The hard liquor burned her throat as she felt the inebriant go to work. She was still wearing the long negligee. Good, the better to piss her off with my dear, she thought.Helen could smell the booze the minute she walked in the door, and there stood Janet, her ex-husband, now a sissy she-male, teetering in front of her dressed in a long nightgown and holding a fifth of rum in one hand."Oh there you are Bissh! I've been waiting for you!" Janet slurred."What the hell?" yelled Helen. "I don't like the way you been treating me or Shawn. I want you to shtop being such a bisch" Janet was starting to really feel the booze."Oh that's it, you've had it," Helen shouted as she grabbed Janet by the arm. She pulled back."Don't you tucsh me!" Janet screamed.Helen was.
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