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My sister was shaking my shoulder. I looked into her eyes and saw genuine concern. I smiled and said, “Just remembering things I haven’t thought of for many years.”“I remember every day…every day now and every day then,” she said. She moved closer to me and reminded me of the very first time we did it. Again a memory came out of the dark reaches of my mind. I was seven and that would have made her 17. Our parents had to go back east to a funeral and we stayed home together to attend school. I spied on her as she was bathing and got a hard-on. Dumb me, I asked her why my peepee got hard. She asked me to show her and one thing led to another. We did a lot of fucking but I never ejaculated at that time. We reminded each other about the things we did during those two weeks.She then asked, "You remember how I freaked out the first time you shot me full of a load of cum? You were just 10 then." Sis, I don't ever remember you talking like this." Well shit, Em," she replied, "Here. She wanted to make the pain go away and that was all she had left. I’m not an expert about alcohol but my parents have told me that if you have too much then it dulls the senses and takes away the ability to make sensible choices.”I stopped and thought about what I’d said.“Actually, I guess I’m starting to be – maybe not an expert – but I’ve seen it happen a few times now. People making dumb decisions when they’re drunk, I mean.”I sighed.“So, to answer your question, no, I don’t think Laura was trying to kill herself. I think she just wanted it all to stop. She wanted a way out and couldn’t see any. So the only escape was to be unconscious. She took those pills right in front of me and my cousin. She must have known we wouldn’t let her die – if she even thought about that. The book I read said that a lot of suicide attempts were really cries for help. I don’t even think it was that. I think she did something dumb – because she was drunk.”I stopped talking and we both sat there for a.
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