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Stan got better the last third of 2003, but he began to deteriorate again right after New Years. At first, his doctors thought he could be helped by another transplant. Stan adamantly refused. He lived a long time with a borrowed liver, and it was clear to him he wouldn't survive a long time with another one, as he had other health problems at the end. He didn't want to take away someone else's chance, by removing a liver from the too small inventory of cadaver organs.We had some marvelous talks in the last month. We said all the things we needed to say to each other. He might have suffered some, just before he died, but he took no drugs in that last hour. We were talking. I was holding his hand. He squeezed my hand, said "I love you," and his hand went slack. His chest stopped moving. His eyes went dull. He was gone.There was no sign of pain on his face. The doctor said his heart stopped.Some of you knew the story of my nude photos. This is not the time to rehash the story, but I. I'm a PERVERTED little wanker. I'm so embarrassed... You immediately start verbally bashing me, ordering that I explain myself and my perverse actions... I can only look at the floor with my pre-cum dripping erection subsiding from embarrassment. You stand there shaking your head knowing that I MUST be punished for being such a filthy little horn-dog while you were away. Standing in the doorway, still sweaty from your workouts, with your hands on your hips, you order me to get down on my knees beneath you. I bolt across the room like a prize horse in the kentucky derby to take my rightful place on my knees before my MATURE GODDESS MOM, my heart racing from excitement... You turn around and begin to slowly peel off your yoga pants, revealing your ever so lovely, PERFECTLY textured cheeks. The sight of your cellulite makes me want to bite, but I would NEVER harm my MATURE GODDES MOM. With your leggings half-way down your thick thighs, you begin to lift your gray shirt from behind. I am.
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