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But nothing sparked within me. My frustration levelgrew...my anger grew...my despair grew...I was screaming, yelling, sobbingviolently, but I heard it not...I only knew that I was because my throat wouldhurt so dreadfully the next day...but at the moment, I had no clue...had noidea of how truly bestial I was behaving. But maybe that was my plan...tobehave the way I felt...like an animal...so far removed from humanity as tomake my humanity null and void...give my captor what they wanted...show himthat he had won...that he had finally taken all that I had to give. And I hoped it was enough...I prayed that itwas enough and that tomorrow would bring a darkness that I wouldn't beconscious of...wouldn't be conscious of because it was finally over...my soulwould finally be at peace and far from this room, far from this never endingdark and void that had become my world, had become the cage that I was forcedto inhabit, to pace in and to chafe at...the prison that had become my life. ***Part. " You should talk to Cheryl before you make a hard core decision," John warned. "Don't do anything stupid JW."I won't promise anything right now. It depends on how serious Cheryl is about this guy." I stood up and said, "Thanks for the heads up buddy." Sorry as hell to be the one to tell you." I appreciate you having my back. Talk to you later," I said and left the bar. It's good to have friends.On the way home my mind was going in circles. Several thoughts bounced around in my head. I'd throw her ass out into the street, I thought. I'd pack a bag and leave. Let Cheryl try making it without me. I'd make sure all our friends and families knew what she was doing. I'd sue the Stanton's for letting this little romance go on.As I pulled into my driveway, for some reason, I calmed down. Walking into the house, I made up my mind. I decided to be as cool as I could be until I found out what was really going on. Over the weekend and on Monday I tried to act as normal as possible. I guess I.
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