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In the back seat, trying desperately to keep as far from one another as possible, were my twin sisters, Aideen and Ruari. They were the same age as Teagan, putting them only three years younger than myself. To describe one of them was to describe them both, with one small caveat. You see, they were mirrored identical twins, to the point where Ruari was left handed, and had to tell doctors to check the right side of her chest when they were listening for a heartbeat. They appeared for all intents and purposes like younger versions of Mom. Unfortunately, from their point of view, their breasts never got very large, leaving them with somewhere around an A cup, if I had to guess. They both wore their hair in a ponytail, and the giveaway as to which one of them was which was the side that their ponytail favored, thanks to their dominant hands being different.Now that you know who is in the van with me, let me tell you something else. We were practically melting in our seats. We wisely had. “You came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man”. “That’s correct” says the defendant. “Upon which” continues the prosecutor “you take out a pistol and shot your wife, killing her”. “That’s correct” says the defendant. “Then my question to you is - why did you shoot your wife and not her lover?” asked the prosecutor. “It seemed easier” replied the defendant “than shooting a different man every day!”My wife came back from work yesterday and yelled at me “All my friends’ husbands have bought an original pink and brown Juicy handbag!” I replied with a wink “Okay love, but tonight you’ll have to provide some pink and brown for me”. I was astonished when she nodded in agreement. I had always dreamt of this moment and it was finally here and, without fail, I went upstairs that night, and was not disappointed. It was just as good as I had ever imagined. My very own snooker table!I’ve organized a charity night in aid of people who can’t reach orgasm, but don’t.
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