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") had written a book on fly fishing in the wake of "A River Runs Through It," and we'd met a couple years before. I got up the nerve to call him and he agreed to fly in on his way to New York for a book-signing event. After we'd finished for the day I suggested stopping at a bar for a few drinks. He demurred, in keeping with his desire not to be mobbed and maintain some semblance of privacy. So we (Brad, me and his bodyguard Barney) walked from the bookstore and I went into the bar, leaving Brad and Barney outside talking with a few normal people like normal people. Barney, by the way, is the size of the other one, but is neither as upbeat nor as unnervingly obnoxious as the purple dinosaur.I noticed her almost as soon as I walked through the front door. She was a regular in the bookstore, looking charmingly clunky but also with an unmistakable concentration of intelligence. She bought and had me order computer books, "Bart Simpson's Guide to Life," a few cookbooks. You are what you. ”I looked at her. She was smirking like she’d just won first prize in the raffle or something. I didn’t answer her.“So,” she said, “since you failed to get your own date for tonight, we can get back on schedule. It’s Kimberley’s turn, all right?”“No. No, it’s not all right! Don’t you fucking get it? I’m through playing your fucking games. I’m done with the Paul Fucking Robertson Experience. Okay? Got that? You’re not my fucking pimp!”“But Paul—”“But nothing, Mands! Just fucking forget it.”“Jesus, Paul, I’m only trying to help.”“Help? How is treating me like a piece of fucking meat helping, exactly?”“Well, look at you! You haven’t gotten laid since last Friday, and clearly, it doesn’t agree with you. You’ve been a right grumpy shit all week, just because you didn’t get your rocks off on Saturday. Trust me, give Kim a right good seeing to tonight and you’ll feel a whole lot better in the morning. I’m just worried about you, that’s all.”“Worried? Worried?” I tried to control the anger.
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