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She knew she was madly in love with Tom, wanting to spend more and more time with him. When she was home with Martin, their evenings were pleasant and comfortable and she knew she loved him, cared about him, but now understood on a visceral level the difference between loving someone and being in love. Martin was a dear man, still, in many ways, her best friend. They shared so much history and even returned to the Avalon Bistro for their thirty-fifth anniversary and laughed as they reminisced and clicked glasses with the owners, who treated them, as usual, to a glass of the Muscatti, their favorite wine. But still, when she looked at Martin, she didn’t feel the way she felt when she looked at Tom, never felt the thrill when they greeted each other. She loved laying her head on Tom’s shoulder after they made love, talking, laughing, cuddling and feeling close. She loved hearing what he was writing and how he read to her, the warmth of his voice, and even when they were quiet in the. I made myself break away and turn to face her.“No, no sex, not now. I need to think this through. Talk it through with you. Sex will blur my thoughts and a bottle of Champagne and a fuck off great Calvados aren’t helping, let alone a job for Opperman. It’s all too much in one day.”Rowan sat back down, smiling. “Yes, it’s a hell of a day, isn’t it? Love the pyjamas by the way, where did you get them?”“India. Do you really want to come with me?”“Yes, I do. Whatever happens it’ll be great experience for me. I’ll learn a lot about the high end theatre, scheduling, organising, fighting battles. I’ll get to see more of the States in three or four months than I ever have and I get to be closer to you.”“How old are you?”“Thirty.”I sat down and curled my legs up under me. “I’m forty.”“I know. What’s that got to do with anything?”“Nothing. It’s not just that you want to fuck a film star?” She looked affronted which made me feel ridiculous and ashamed. I waved a hand, “I’m sorry. .
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