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She nodded and pulled out her credit card, so that several minutes later we were the proud owners of this device. Once on the street, she said to me, "That place is so bizarre. I was looking around at all of the things they have and didn't know whether to laugh or buy everything." "I had the same feeling my first time. But once you get used to being in such a place, it's really stimulating. Looking at that girl I was imagining you with one of those metal things through your tongue. I bet it would feel good." "Feel good? I'm sure it hurt terribly." "I meant feel good for me. And think what the others in your office would think." "Well you can forget it. If you think it is so nice you can have it done to yourself." We laughed as we hailed a taxi. Back at the hotel it was time to put our purchase to the test. Obviously neither of us had ever used one, and the first trial was with me as the active participant. We spent a good half hour trying it out for size and adjusting it. I opted for. I knew because I had looked at my phone to document the exact time our relationship had ended. It was 8:36 a.m.I pushed the phone back to her after barely a second.“If you say you didn’t send it then I believe you,” I said. “I don’t need to read it.”Liz looked at me for a moment and then back to her phone.“Hi Hot Stuff,” she read. “Long time I know. Trouble in paradise. Up for some dirty fun this weekend? I’ll be in L.A. if you’re game. I’ll give you a workout. Miss ya, Liz.”She read off her phone number and looked back at me again.“Does that sound like me?” she asked.I pondered the question, perhaps too long. I know the answer I gave was probably the wrong one.“Yeah,” I said.“What?” Liz asked in a loud voice.“I have a bunch of texts from you like that,” I said with a shrug.“I sent it to you!” Liz said. “I can send texts to you that sound that way. I don’t fucking send them to other people!”“OK,” I said. “It’s not like I check your phone to see who you’re texting and how. I got one.
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