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I could not ruinher life by being miserable.Once I was able to get her to stop crying, I was able tocome out of my blue funk. She was such a good baby andthough I hated being a woman, she was the light of my life.I would not give her up for anything. If I had become a managain, I would have had feelings for her in any case. Sheis from my body, and she will remain connected to my soul.I shook myself out mentally. Tracey was right. I needed totake care of myself or both of us would suffer, and aninnocent is one that should never suffer. I was a motherwhether or not I enjoyed the thought of it. I had a baby toprotect, and I would give my life to do so.That was a year ago. My daughter is now walking, and hasbeen starting to talk. I have long since forgiven herfather for his deceit; and just last January, I marriedhim. I have come to terms with being a woman, a mother, andnow a wife. I just found out that I am pregnant with mysecond child. Tracey wants it to be a boy this time, but wewill. As we were walking again through the mall, people were looking andsmiling as we walked by. For some reason I was getting use to thecomments and they did not affect me as much. Every other window Melissawould say, "Bill, isn't that dress or top pretty, wouldn't I like thatdress or even those sexy high heels."I found myself dreaming about that... how would I look in that dress oroutfit. I found myself asking the question more and more. I wanted totry on high heels in the worse way. What is happening to me?Sally saw me looking intensely in each window. She smiled and said inmany windows, "Bill would you like that dress or those heels?"I just blushed and smiled and said, "I don't think they will fit me."Sally laughed and said, "yes I am sure we could find your size"sweetie.Both Melissa and Sally looked happy as they pulled me into VS. Therewas Sue our friend waiting for us, like she knew the minute we werecoming in.I got nervous in this feminine store, plus lots of teen girls and womennow.
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