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We might get into trouble if we don’t report this right away. I’m on my way back right now.” With that statement, he hung up. I agreed with him about reporting this right away, so I ended that call and dialed 911. I told the dispatcher what I had found and that I was not going to touch anything else until the cops got here. She agreed with me, and I hung up.I called Ramos over to look at what I had found. I didn’t want him to think that I was keeping secrets from him. Dammit, I had to push him back to keep him from vomiting on the body as soon as he saw what was in the hole. I sent him upstairs to meet the cops at the front door and to bring them downstairs. I told him that I was going to stay there until the cops or the boss arrived. I had no trouble convincing Ramos to do as I asked.As soon as he left, I said to Ring, [Ring, please give me a quick education in acting like Sherlock Holmes. I have a feeling that the cops are going to blow this one.]I didn’t touch the body, but I used. In the years that followed my Uncle’s death, the cancer of religion has maligned my family at random to one degree or another. One of my relatives became consumed with the holy fire in her late thirties and was intent (hell-bent, pardon the pun) to save or convert anyone in the family who was not a bona-fide bible-waving lunatic. At first came the polite invites, then the cards in the mail followed by the emails and the subtle polite jabs during family gatherings. When none of those tactics produced any results, she resorted to what has arguably become the most classical approach the church approves of its member deploying, the religious shit attitude. Oh, let’s not play shy or coy here, Ladies and Gentlemen. You know precisely what I mean, and if you don’t then you are a very fortunate person, my friend. The religious shit attitude can take many forms, and is quite handy if you’re a babbling idiot with nothing of importance to say. Let me grace you with a few examples, someone asks.
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