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Adrenaline still pumped through my body and made me shiver. A few hundred yards down the road I found a wooden bench and sat down, cradling my head in my hands and sobbing like a little girl. I could feel the chill night air brushing against my bared thighs. Couples walked past, talking in low voices, but I did not dare look up in case they were talking about the sorry mess sitting on the park bench. They were probably on their way home, cradling their boyfriend or girlfriend, enjoying a happy night together. I had never felt more alone or confused as I did then. I did not even know what I was anymore. You look like a girl, but you begin to take offense like a girl too. I could still hear Tony’s words echoing in my mind. Was he right? Had these clothes really changed me that much? My real self surely would not care if he talked to me like that. The thoughts made me even more confused, and I began to sob again. My life was a mess. I desperately wanted to be like one of those happy. I meant what I said before. Part of me wishes that it was mine, part of me that it wasn’t.”“We’ll know soon enough, won’t we, Nina?” Jessica commented, “what does your woman’s intuition honestly tell you, though?”“That it’s Bruno’s. And right now, to be frank, I want it to be. Just to wipe the smug look off Matt’s face. I would love to rub it in, if you will. Why? I’ll tell you why. Because the son of a bitch threw my cheating on Steve with him in my face, that’s why! Just this morning, during an argument over something else, he called me a whore and said that if he ever caught me with another man, he’d kick me out.“I told him that I was good enough to marry, good enough to pursue while dating another man, and good enough to cheat on his then girlfriend Emily with back then, so why was he putting me down? You know what he told me? That I was just a fucking starter wife and that he was clearly just a starter husband. He actually accused me of doing that to him! And then he accused me.
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