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When I was ready to pay for the gun and bullets, the cashier said,"Strip down, facing me."Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed.When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader!!!I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer.I still don't think I looked that bad.Apolitical AphorismsIf God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.~Jay Leno~The problem with political jokes is they get elected.~Henry Cate, VII~We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office~Aesop~If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven.~Will Rogers~Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.~Nikita. We could move on now, forward and upward,the pain was gone, calm and peace remained. So this is our tribute to you, Martha Jean Baby we can talk all night But that ain't getting us nowhere I told you everything I possibly can There's nothing left inside of here And maybe you can cry all night But that'll never change the way I feel The snow is really piling up outside I wish you wouldn't make me leave here I poured it on and I poured it out I tried to show you just how much I care I'm tired of words and I'm too hoarse to shout But you've been cold to me so long I'm crying icicles instead of tears And all I can do is keep on telling you I want you I need you But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you Now don't be sad 'Cause two out of three ain't bad Now don't be sad 'Cause two out of three ain't bad You'll never find your gold on a sandy beach You'll never drill for oil on a city.
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