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“I’d like to be eight again,” she replied, still looking in the mirror.On the morning of her birthday, I arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park.What a day!I put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.We staggered out of the theme park five hours later. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. I then took her to a McDonald’s and ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&Ms. What a fabulous adventure!She finally wobbled home and collapsed into bed exhausted.I leaned over my wife & with a big smile lovingly asked, “Well, Dear, what was it like being eight again?”Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.“I meant my dress size, you @#! idiot!!!”The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it. I nearly fainted but decided I just had to try to control myself. I shook back my long brown hair in an effort to muster some credibility. “What do you want?” I shouted feebly, trying to put some authority into it but failing miserably. “What are you going to do to me?” suddenly sounding defeated. Still he didn’t speak or even move. There was no way I was able to run away, he had trainers on and I had my summer sandals with heels that still didn’t give me any great height. I felt no choice but to resign to my fate and state the obvious. “You’re going to rape me, aren’t you?” Why did I say that? Was I stalling for time? I looked around me, nothing but trees and darkness and not a soul in sight. How loud could I scream? I thought, then, how much use would that be. Time had suddenly stopped still. I tried to imagine the face behind the mask. He seemed youngish judging by his body. Tall, lean and very obviously muscular. Oddly I could only imagine a fairly handsome guy inside it. I felt.
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