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When talking with my friends I was always sureto talk like they did, so they would not know.After High School I enlisted in the Army. I wanted to be a man. Theyadvertise that they will make a man out of you. I didn't realize it atthe time, but my parents were glad that the Army accepted me, as theywere worried that I wasn't 'right'. But it never goes away, does it?After two years, I want to the Padre and confessed my fantasies to him.He referred me to the camp psychiatrist and within a month I was out ofthe Army. They don't want such as me. At least not then.There are two parts of me. Me and 'she'. After service I lived at homewith my parents. My older brother and sister were married and out of thehouse. At every opportunity when my parents were out visiting friends, Idressed in my mother's clothes, and masturbated. I don't know if mymother ever found out, but if she did, she never said anything to meabout it.I began seeing a psychiatrist. I was working at a good job,. I woke up the next morning feeling like I had been through a war. Irealized that I was being held closely by my best friend, my sister. Ican't believe she had spent the whole night with me. I must have beenin pretty bad shape to have gotten this much attention. Feeling theurge to take care of some personal business, I try and pull myself outof Katie's grasp but she fights back. "Where are you going?" When Iinform that I am going to bathroom, and she can hang on in there if shewants. This results in me being hit with a pillow. I smile as I moveoff to the bathroom and taunt my best friend. I return to my bed andKatie promptly pulls me back into her arms. Katie asks me how I amdoing."I feel like shit. Thank you for taking care of me, but you didn't haveto do that. I'm sorry I'm being such a pain in the ass," I say in ameek voice. Reflecting how low I truly feel.Katie hugs me tighter. "Alex, if you were hurting and needed help allyou had to do was ask. You are my family and.
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