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It shines out from those pools of blue. I give her fingers a squeeze. But stay silent. ‘You can tell me.’ She grins at me. ‘I’m your woman.’ I smile at that and nod. ‘Well …’ I take a deep breath. ‘She hurt me, very badly. Told a lot of people a lot of lies about me. She was being lovey, lovey to my face then cutting me apart behind my back. ‘ ‘Why?’ River asks confused. I sit back and resting my right elbow in my left palm, I sit bumping my lips with a knuckle deciding if I should say. When I look up at River’s eyes, I decide yes. ‘It was a joke. The whole thing … from the very beginning. A joke she was playing on me to amuse her friends. Flirting with me in class. Calling me after school. She would call me on speaker phone while her friends listened in trying not to giggle as she talked all romantic to me.’ My eyes focus on the candle flame. ‘Dad had been out of work, Mom was supporting us. I worked on the weekend to get the odd dollar. I would spend the money on her. Buying her. Allows you to blank out the world and all of life's pressures."I thought, there's only one thing I want to block out, the struggle I have with my sexuality. I love the female form, yet I get so totally aroused at seeing a guy in a shower. "Life looks pretty good for you," I said. "You've got a nice car and you said your wife and k**s are fantastic." I am fortunate," he replied. "My wife is way too good for me and my k**s are angels ... most of the time. But, we've all got our secrets. Secrets that are too embarrassing to tell."I was about to ask more, but we turned into a small lot and he shut off the engine. "There's a spot that's incredibly beautiful and perfect for meditating. I'm sure you'll love it."I followed him down a lightly used path and the view was spectacular. There were small islands dotting the middle of the river and rolling hills on the far shore. He led me to a small clearing and we sat cross-legged on a soft bed of grass."Breathing plays a big part in meditating,".
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