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I moved one of my hands to lift Nancy’s chin so we could kiss. Our lips touched, parted, our tongues touched and then danced gently with each other. We kissed for a bit, then I moved my hands to her shoulders and slowly pushed the peignoir from them. Nancy dropped her arms, allowing it to fall to the floor, then grasped the hem of my rugby shirt and pulled it upwards. I moved my arms so she could pull the shirt over my head and off my arms, then drop it on the floor.My hands went to the clasp of Nancy’s lace bra and I unhooked it, and then slipped the straps from her shoulders. She allowed the bra to fall away, exposing her firm, round breasts. I stepped back a bit to take in the vision, then bent down and planted a soft kiss on each nipple.“They aren’t double-Ds like Paula’s,” Nancy smirked. “But they’ll do!”I chuckled, “More than enough!”Nancy’s hand went to my belt, which she unbuckled. Next she unbuttoned my jeans, and drew down the zipper. She pushed them over my hips and they. ! That’s when I thought “Wait a f’ing minute...”In the Pub the other day I was telling that old joke about what you do if you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath. Answer; throw in your washing.We were all having a good laugh about this, when this big bastard tapped me on the shoulder and said “I don’t find that very funny. My brother was an epileptic and he died in the bath during one of his fits...”I said “Sorry mate. Did he drown?”“No,” he said, “he choked on a sock.”The wife came out of the bathroom and said “I have just shaved my bits and you know what that means don’t you?”I said “Yeah, the bloody plug hole is blocked again.”An Arab diplomat visiting the US for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was not used to the salt in American foods (French fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies etc.) and was constantly sending his manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water.Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of.
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