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I must have gotten lucky because some of my bullets actually hit the engine of the D. VII. We saw smoke pour out of the engine compartment, and the D. VII suddenly lost power. He nosed over and headed for the ground, but I did not get an opportunity to watch him as he went down. Later, when I did have a chance to look, I did not see a smoke plume on the ground, so I guess the D. VII recovered enough to fly home.Meanwhile, Bill and John must have eliminated their target because I counted on three D. VIIs still engaged with us. Oops! Dammit, I noticed that I had developed a leak in my fuel system, and I could see my fuel gauge drift toward empty as I watched. There was no choice, I had to head home if I did not want to lose my plane. Hell, had I done that, I don't know who would have been more irate, Sgt. Alfred or Col. Handly.Anyway, I attracted Jack's attention and signaled that I had to return to base. He waved at me, and went back to combat with a D. VII that was getting too. I was a bitch, whore, worthless, good only for sexing and believed it.I'm no different than the Asian bar girls dancing naked on a stage, selected by number. My stage is different but like them, I'm called by a number, my phone number. No, they dance for survival, facing the horror of what they must do to survive. Me, I dance because I want on the stage. That's who I am, a dancing whore on the meat market stage.Convincing myself I was just a sex object, my esteem plummeted to my late teenage years. At least then I had innocence. My esteem reached its nadir.William’s love is right; I’m a bitch whore, used for screwing then dumped. No man loves me, none ever did.I sobbed my revised history alone and drank to numb the pain of her virulent, poisoned dart. I got a prescription for sleep, another for anxiety. I drifted into the numbness of drugs.After a week of wallowing in worthlessness, Paul called at the office. He told me to meet him at Jeeper's in Spanaway, a country-western bar.
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