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Sex with my ex had been incredible – he was the first man to make me cum - but I'd always lacked the confidence to explore my fantasies further than as a means to turn him on. Over time, I explored the site further and eventually entered the chat room. For the most part, I'd lurked and watched, enjoying the banter between regulars and the erotic pictures shared. It was a relaxed place where I was welcomed, but not under any pressure. Despite the anonymity the screen provided, I was still awkward, shy and lacking the confidence to jump into the public conversation. That's not to say I didn't get the usual crude offers from time to time - part and parcel of being female on that sort of site. But they were easily dealt with. I enjoyed brief, intense conversations with a few people, but none really made me want to come back for more. It was a welcome diversion from everyday life, but nothing more. Then I met him. He was different from the start. He was unlike so many of the men in there,. I ducked down the main stairs, and ran to the secretary’s desk. There was the large diary that she worked the appointments out of. I turned to the next page, which was Sunday, and then the following. Monday. There was my team meeting, scheduled and all the attendees had been confirmed. I flicked through the pages, and then my heart stopped beating. Friday! The day had been blocked out for Peter, and I was scheduled to have the day off. And Under Peter it said: ‘All day Hanson client. No mobile access.’ It was in Peter’s handwriting. He had written that in himself. He did intend to go and sleep with this woman. And he intended for his mobile to be turned off all day as well. Today was Saturday. My husband was planning to be unfaithful to me in seven days time. And somehow I was a silent witness to the whole thing. As if I were watching my life unfold before me on a stage, everything is happening but I am not actually being a part of it all. It felt surreal. I was flooded with memories.
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