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"He saw Cassie flinch and Catherine bristle, and he immediately regretted what he had said, though he said nothing but gritted his teeth."You don't make it easy," said Cassie plaintively. "This is hard enough for me, without your carping, but anyway I'm leaving tomorrow, and I'll be out of your hair for good. So."She took a deep breath. "You wanted to know why I react so intensely when a man lets me down. I went home and Dollar was around and she told me why. She was there when it happened and she stood by me when no one else did."When I was fifteen in High School, I started going with a boy called Douglas, or Doug for short. He was so fit, and good looking. Captain of the football team, captain of the cricket team, medals at athletics. And he wanted me."I was so besotted with him, I'm embarrassed about it now. He was two years older than I was – seventeen. He was so ... masculine – so strong. I couldn't see how selfish he was; for me, he could do no wrong. And he wanted me."Ged gave. Especially for the men that I toss myself between. I give no sympathy for their plights against hurting me. I hear their complaints and reservations, their pleading voices begging to show me something more, but I do not listen. Their instructions are always the same - do as I say, or get out.Some of them walk out with the intention of never returning, but most of them don't, and the ones that do - always reappear eventually. I suppose they are intrigued by the prospect of beating me before furiously stabbing their manhood inside my body and it brings them crawling back with acceptence of what I want to be done. Even if it sickens them to do some of the acts that I wish.Sometimes I get curious to know what makes them so enticed by wrapping their hands around my throat as they penetrate me, to find what distinguishes these men from those who aren't so....differnet. But, just as the interest springs forth, it quickly dissipates by the lack of desire to know anything beyond the physical.
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