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00 my wife was working ! I was watching Tgirl and gay porn before I went to bed my clitty was rock hard ! I put a rubber sheet on my bed and got some baby oil jell out of the bathroom and lay on my sheet poured loads of oil over my clitty and it ran over my hot hole OMG it felt good I was rubbing myself and got four fingers up my bum! fucking hell I was in a fucking horny mood ! I took two lines of coke and four hits of poppers OMG I was in haven xx ummmmmmm lexus was in my head ! lets fuck lets fuck was going over and over in my head xxI put my nice big F cup tittys on no bra tight blouse white thong that soon got wet with the oil ! red tartan very short skirt killer platform high heels OH and my butt plug ! I also wore my red wig xx lets see who is about ! I had xhamster playing porn movies and on my pc fabguys ! I soon found some guys who ten started watching my on my webcam ! I was bending over showing off my round bum rubbing my clitty being a right slag xx the one guy I was. “Would you let me bite your breasts - just once - $10,000?!” She thinks about it for a while and says, “Hmmmmm, $10,000. Ok, just once, but not here. Let’s go to that dark alley over there.”So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them - but not biting them.The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, ‘Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?’“Nah,” says the little old Jewish man... “Costs too much!”These are compliments of J & B.Paraprosdokianis a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is unexpected - and oft times humorous:1. If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.2. I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they’re flashing behind you.3. Today a man knocked on my door and asked.
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