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But Alex was an OK guy, and I got along with him about as well as I did anybody else on the club except for my road roomy, Ollie Parker. Me and Ollie were especially tight. I wasn't exactly surprised when Alex invited me along for a double date one Sunday night, after our game with the Potomac Nationals.We were scheduled to return to Frederick after that afternoon's game, and the team bus would be heading up there an hour after the game ended. As usual, however, Alex had his personal car with him. You see, Potomac's ballpark is out in the country, there, in the exurbs southwest of Washington, D.C., down Interstate 95. On a map, you'll find it at about 8 o'clock, with Washington at the center of the clock.Frederick, Maryland is at about 11 o'clock on the same map, and if you know what you're doing, you can go straight there from Potomac, on secondary highways in Northern Virginia, without going anywhere near the District of Columbia.Alex evidently had spent some of his bonus money. Late in the afternoon Jan found me still sitting on the floor. Between tears I confessed that I cheated on my loving husband. I told her the whole sad tale. When Jan said I was raped, I shook my head as I went willingly. I wanted him and offered myself to him. Is this a divine revenge for what I have done? Jan disagreed. But I was inconsolable. Jan made a telephone call. I could not hear all that she was saying. A half-hour later, Ruth arrived to spend the night with me Ruth silently held me as I wept. There is no way I can go anywhere this morning. I do not know how I am going to deal with this. I do not know what I am going to say to Ken. I feel so ashamed and dirty. I played the roll of a slut and I became one? How could he forgive me? How can I forgive myself? Thursday October 30, 1980 Dear Diary: I could not bring myself to write these last three days. My mind has been awash with feelings of dread and anger. I taught my lessons without energy or joy. My steps were so heavy.
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