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I would have to learn to look and feel feminine, in what was essentially, a borrowed masculine clothing style. The irony wasn't lost on me. I wasn't going through all this to become a tomboy! Mother helped me shop for school clothes. We drove to a local mall. Under my pale yellow sleeveless dress, I wore a white bra and my panty girdle. I knew I'd be trying on jeans and the like, so I didn't wear a slip. At the store, I selected the tightest jeans I could get into. Mother wasn't particularly happy with them, but I refused to have anything to do with clothes that were remotely unisex. "Andrea, I know you want to look feminine and attractive, but remember, you want to look like a young lady too. Please don't cheapen yourself" I was becoming very frustrated. "Mother, this is too confusing. Dresses are too snobby. Tight jeans look cheap. I really don't know what to buy." I just stood there near the dressing room, holding the jeans that my mother didn't want me to. And Tim and I would never say anything to hurt you or Dad."Mom was holding me real tight and still sobbing a little, while telling me she did remember what happened."I should have stopped it at the beginning, at the movies, but Dad hasn't been very loving in a long time." She went on, "I feel so lonely and, and unattractive, and, and vulnerable."She continued, "I loved the attention you two were giving me and it was too hard to stop. I really liked Tim at first, but he wasn't as caring as you. And we can't do it again. But I must admit, I did love every bit of it and, and, well, maybe I would like to try some of it again but, but without Tim. It would just be you and me.Talk about being surprised! I said, "Are you sure you're ok with this?"Mom sighed, "Yes, yes, I ... I think so." She continued haltingly, as if explaining things to herself. Paul was never into oral sex or trying to experiment with other ways. I loved so much, the feeling you gave me. Tim just wanted to get laid. But.
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