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And he'd never mentioned it to anyonein his family either. He worried that if they knew, they'd think himstrange or have him locked up somewhere where they thought peculiarperson should be.But somehow the old gypsy woman had known all about it.She had actually called out to him by name as he was passing by herweird looking old shop. But almost as strange as the outwardappearance of her shop was the oddly shaped and even more oddlypainted sign in front of it. "Madame Helga." it had read. "Knowsall. Sees all." And in very small, nearly unreadable letteringbeneath it, was a small addendum, "Statuary for all occasions."With a toothless grin that made Jeremy nervous, the old gypsy hadheld out to him an oddly misshapened statue. When he came closeenough to take a good look at it, he could tell that the statue wasan anatomically correct male from the waist down, while above thewaist it was totally female with the same accuracy of anatomy."It is yours, Jeremy." said the old crone as. She had no interest in romance with the religious housewife but as conquests go, this had massive fantasy potential, surpassing even the ones of Britney Spears in her younger years. Revving up seduction mode, the teacher inched closer. "Aren't you at least curious about intimacy with another woman? You can tell me. The Reverend Lovejoy will never know." It's Smithy! Curious or not, homosexuality is a sin!" So is murder but everyone does it, " the teacher replied skillfully."You never took any logic classes did you?" The only logic I need was gleaned from the wonderful Leonard Nimoy. Besides, read the eleven commandments. Nowhere does it say, 'Thou shall not perform or receive cunnilingus .' Seriously, what do you have to lose?" My soul," Mrs. Smith replied sadly. "Actually, I had something more tangible in mind," teach clarified. "We can be patient. I won't rush you like a bat out of hell." "Meatloaf?" No thank you, I had Vienna sausages earlier. But enough talk about fine food, be.
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