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To be closer to the investigation we were all on Nassau now. We were all in a local hotel and the pilots out at the private airport and airstrip next to the international airport.“What do we do Eddie.” Elsa wanted to know. It was dark and I was eating with the rest of my harem when her and Billy came in.“We’re doing all we can Elsa. We have a watch on the building and nobodies going anywhere...” Billy interrupted me.“Damn it they could be torturing them in there Eddie. We need to go in and rescue them now Eddie.” Billy demanded instant action.“Has Liz got back yet Billy?” I asked. She sullenly answered that she hadn’t.“Until Liz gets back we’re unarmed Billy. Just wait.” I admonished her and continued to eat my surprisingly good spare ribs for a hotel that specialized in sea food.Before anybody goes all Rambo on me, we were all armed, but not enough to take on a police station. Well not without a lot of killing anyway. I don’t like unnecessary bloodshed, especially my own, if I can. I can grant you one wish.”I said, “No shit?”God Bless CanadaThis one is compliments of neubergerHere is one that should come with a warning to not drink or eat while reading.“As a joke, my brother Jay used to hang a pair of panty hose over his
fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill
them.
What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay’s kids’ stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and
went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don’t sell those things at
Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown.
If you’ve never been in an X-rated store, don’t go, you’ll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, ‘What does this do?’
’ You’re kidding me!’ ‘Who would buy that?’ Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section.
I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that.
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