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”“Your sure?”“Yes” he said with and excited smile.A scary thought came to me “Have you been fucked in the ass before?”“Yes, the preacher used to do me, he was surprised I liked it.”We made arrangements to meet after the last game.I asked him one last thing as he went out the door “ Did you lube up before you went in the theater today?”“He stopped and looked at me a little perplexed, “ No, its supposed to hurt.”I just about came in my pants.The boys won both games so it was 9 pm when me and Billie set off. The coach had set an midnight curfew.As we rode the taxi to the theater I asked Billie if he had a target of number of men he wanted so I would have an idea when to take him out.“No I want as many as possible, I wont use the safe word, we just have to be back for curfew.”I doubted him, but OK let them fuck.He rented a locker and put his jeans and jacket inside. I grabbed his leash and led him inside. Last night there had been three other men in there, tonight was Friday so its was. His feelings - or his lack of them, to be precise. It must have surprised Frank - they never talked about things like this.He sure surprised himself.As John went through his tale, he saw how Frank paled a little. He fidgeted with his glass of beer. And when John paused, Frank suddenly apologized. As a friend, he said, but more even as a doctor he had failed him. He should have seen what happened.His outburst surprised John. Then Frank said how John had evolved all the telltale signs of a depression. And he felt responsible, he said. He, a doctor, had not seen it. He had not seen the numbness. The obsession with work. The not being in touch with the world.When Julie had left the house and Sarah had gradually turned her back on John, he had let himself sink into it, Frank said. John had blamed all that happened on his lack of interest and involvement. Even now he maybe thought it had been him who drove Sarah away. But it had been his illness.John saw what he meant. The depression had.
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