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I’ve been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.He says I have Feefiphobia.“Orion’s Belt is a big waist of space.”Terrible joke. Only three stars.Scene: costume partyA: what are you dressed as?B: can’t you tell, I’m a harp!A: your costume is too small to be a harp...B: calling me a lyre?!Bloke goes to a costume party, stark naked, painted green with his girlfriend on his back. Someone asks ‘what are you supposed to be?’, he replies ‘I’m a tortoise’. ‘What about her?’, he replies... ‘that’s Michelle’I told my doctor that when I travel from country to country I have the urge to get drunk. She told me I’m a borderline alcoholic.A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down.A checkout chick walked up to him and said, “Your barracks door is open.”Not a phrase that men normally use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled.When he was just about done shopping, a man came up and said, “Your fly is open.”He zipped up and finished his shopping.At the checkout, he intentionally got in. When she knew that she had my full attention she said "Well why don't I give the boys a treat and if you are very good and very obedient, I will let you watch. So you can make arrangements to get them up here on Saturday. I don't care how you do it, just get them here." From that day on my wife's attitude towards me changed, she became much more dominant, treating me like a child etc.On Saturday morning I called at the garage and told the foreman that my wife was still having problems with her car and 'she wanted seeing to' this afternoon and if he could bring some mechanics with him to help sort her problem out, I would pay them extra for their time. He said he would bring 3 of them after they finished work at 12 o clock.When I got back home my wife was more demanding than ever, she said that I would only be allowed to watch if I wore some of her knickers and tights. Nobody will know if you wear them under your trousers. With that last comment, I reluctantly agreed.At 12-15.
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