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I couldn’t wait and yet, being the pleaser and perfectionist that I am, I was terrified at the possibility of failure or, almost as diabolical… mediocrity.What if my own abilities as a lover, my own idea of my sexy, sensual self was all in my own mind? What if nerves took over? What if for whatever reason he didn’t enjoy me or the evening? My sexual/sensual motor runs at a pretty constant purr but the possibility that I was might actually be a great big fraud almost stopped me in my tracks. …..A moment of insecurity. The burden of responsibility to make this truly an occasion to remember weighed me down momentarily.However as I always do, I gave myself a stern talking to, got a grip on myself and reverted back to purring. For the next few weeks the possibilities ran through my mind. What I could do? What would bring him pleasure? What would completely blow his mind and what was to be the order of things? I felt like I was formulating a recipe of sorts…a dash of sexy, pinch of sensual. My dad was kind of dense. And I didn't want to bring up the subject of dating with him. Not so soon after my divorce. It was bad enough that my marriage had failed, but ending up in the arms of another guy—and a white guy at that—so soon was something I didn't even want to contemplate. "What about your parents? They saw us at the airport." Dad wanted to know why we never went out in high school," he said softly. "And Mom thinks I'm still in love with you."My heart skipped a beat."Are you?" the words were out of my mouth before I knew I had said them."Yes," he blurted out.It took me a second to look into his eyes. He didn't look embarrassed or uncomfortable. He wore his heart on his sleeve. There was no pretense about him. No games. With Kevin Westcott, what you see is what you get.And right then, I wanted him more than anything.Only I couldn't bring myself to tell him that.Kevin took a deep breath. "Okay, Mel. Here are all my cards: I've been in love with you since high school..
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