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I was no longer invited to poker games, weekend fishing trips and other things like that.And yes, I'll admit to it, I had my own personal issues with it. My grandfather and my father worked their asses off to provide for their families and there I was, at home, mopping kitchen floors, separating the whites from the colors and wondering if Tide was better than Cheer for getting the throw rugs clean. In short, I felt like a total failure because I - I- was not providing for my family. The fact that Dani was bringing home more than I would have if I'd kept my old job did not signify, I - I- wasn't the one taking care of my family.Intellectually I knew that what I was doing was what was best for the family, but somewhere in a compartment in the back of my brain there was a voice that kept whispering, "You are a failure Harold, you can't do a man's basic job - taking care of your family."And it wasn't just friends and acquaintances who were looking down at me; men I didn't even know. "I won't, I promise" I told him as I stood there."Good, I'll alway's be here for you Ben, I love you man" He told me as I went over to grab clothes to go take a shower.When I got out of the shower I headed to my room, and there was a not stuck to the door, "Sorry mate, got called into work while you were in the shower, I'll be home around four though, okay ... Darren", I looked over at the clock, it was already really late, one o'clock, Darren and I must have slept in late, I thought. I moved over towards the kitchen, to have a see of what I might make for breakfast, when I heard a soft knocking at the door, intrigued, I went to answer it, not bothering to check the peep hole I just opened it, I stood there, frozen, not being able to move a muscle, it was Zac, standing there, looking at the ground with a single rose in his hand, "I'm sorry" He simply said, as I stood there in shock."Wh-wh- what are you doing here Zac, I thought you were staying with friends?" I asked him, still frozen.
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