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Things like puberty was always a difficult thing to write about, but in my innocent way & adventurous mind, I still found a logical approach to explain my unusual feelings. Ironically, I had no idea how vital my diary entries would be in the future. My diaries helped me explain how my body seemed to be changing when I thought about girls, the sad unsuccessful days I had when I asked girls out & how broken & dejected it made me when I was told no. I had a particular way of dealing with my failures with girls; I would go into my mother's room find a pair of her tights & a nightdress & masturbate thinking about the girl I wanted in my life at the time.Every time I did it helped to give me closure on my failure to find a girlfriend, the new habit of masturbation & the feeling of the material seemed to help me. As I got older, I discovered that my secret was more of a kink. Still, my logical reasoning allowed me to accept my method of escaping life's challenges by dressing for twenty. The chairs face outwards, towards another set of chairs on the floor which face the carousel. These chairs make a larger circle all the way around the carousel. In front of the chairs on the floor is a small table and two shot glasses, and two short stacks of cards. Between the chairs both on and off the carousel, are partitions. This means that you can only see the individuals as they pass by as the carousel slowly spins. When the carousel stops, the two who are facing each other, pour a drink, and flip over a card. One set of cards has a different sex act printed on the back like: oral giving, oral receiving, 69, anal, vaginal, facial, or FREE card. The other set of cards has the position in which to carry out the sex act: like standing, spooning, sitting, reverse cowboy etc . Each person has to turn over a card. Either one can refuse the first card they draw, but agree to do the second card if chosen.' I chuckled a bit, 'Would you like to play?' I ask you. 'Obviously, there will.
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