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’To which little RALPHY replied, ‘The correct answer is ‘the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking.’LITTLE RALPHY ON MATHLittle RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.‘Why’ asks the father?‘The teacher asked ‘How much is 2 x 3?’ ‘‘I said 6”, replies RALPHY.‘But that’s right!’ says his dad.‘Yeah, but then she asked me ‘How much is 3 x 2?’‘What’s the fuckin’ difference?’ asks the father.‘That’s what I said!’LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISHLittle RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, ‘Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?’RALPHY says ‘Mas-tur-bate.’Miss Rogers smiles and says, ‘Wow, little RALPHY, that’s a mouthful... ‘Little RALPHY says, ‘No, Miss Rogers, you’re thinking of a blowjob.’LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMARLittle RALPHY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet. He yelled out, ‘Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!’The teacher replied, ‘Now,. "Behind you!" Andrea yelled, and I spun to find the man with the fallen britches lifting a large pistol. I threw my knife at him and charged, ducking low. The gun went off almost in my face, burning my hair and nicking the top of my left ear. I smashed the man back and right through a window, hardly hearing the frame and glass shatter over the ringing in my ears from the gun's blast.I held him tight and landed atop him in the bushes, feeling the breath knocked from both of us. I crushed his throat under my forearm and watched his eyes roll back. I got to my knees, heaving, felt at my ear, kicked him in the head to make sure and ran back into the house, a bit wobble legged.The woman was standing by her sofa, my big knife in her hand, her eyes wild as the man I had stuck in the back neared her, arms spread wide. I yelled and he twisted toward me just as she lunged and drove the knife into the side of his belly, right to the hilt. A half-foot of bloody steel came out his back. She let go.
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