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.." No, I don't want to know who, I want to know when." Soon as possible, I suppose, We only have three more days of Spring Break, then we'll all hafta shift our buns back to the university, eh?" Yes, sure. Well, now..." he went into a lot of technical stuff that you don't need to know, but the gist was that I was to sneak up to the "person," affix a tiny "receiver," he called it, to his or her neck near the head, or actually on the head, under the hairline. The "beta" model would not sink under the skin, as would the final product, but remain visible with luck, so that Martin or Reinhardt could remove it with "special means." Martin was vehement in making me understand that the effect of whatever I did to the person would continue for several hours after the bug was removed. He concluded,"... so you can in effect control what the person wants, what the person sees, what the person likes, tastes-everything about the personality. Got it?" He had become so enthusiastic about his "beta". I wasn’t ready and I needed time to look at what I wanted for my future. I realized when I was turning down dates and avoiding some of the more aggressive males at Cal Poly, I was keeping myself from making a mistake. It took me a while to realize that I was keeping myself for you. I was staying in touch with your mother because I needed to know that no one had taken my place in your heart. I needed to know that when I was done with school, that I could come back and find you here. I knew you loved me, and now you know I loved you just as much. So ... here I am. I’m yours, Joel.”Mom had made herself scarce while Naomi and I talked. Whether she knew what our conversation was going to be about or not, I didn’t care. I stood, took Naomi’s hand, and walked with her to my room. We undressed wordlessly and fell into bed together. Our lovemaking required no foreplay, nor was it a frantic rejoining of two lovers. It was quiet and slow and emotional. I felt my spirit restored in our joining.
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