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They went off just after they came out of the garage. Mom and Erin both jumped in surprise as they kept going off.“Barnim, you’re an asshole.”“Language Mom.”“Do that again and I’ll tan your hide.” I was laughing my ass off.We started setting off some bottle rockets, and I gave Erin 2 sparklers and lit them. She started running around and waving them in the air. Randall came creeping out of the garage trying to slide in and join the festivities. I just handed him some sparklers and lit them: he wasn’t quite as enthused as Erin.Black Cats and bottle rockets were going off left and right when Erin came running over.“Barnim, I need some more.”“Would you two please speak English?”“How about you learn Polish?”“It’s hard.”“Well, most things in life are, it’s not my problem.”“Here you go.”I handed her two more sparklers, lit them and she went running around again. Randy came out bitching, he hadn’t said it was OK to have fireworks. Just as I was going to say something when Mom hopped off the. Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?A: On their foreheads.Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?A: “Gosh, I remember these!”Great Quotes“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz SL500.” Lynn Lavner“It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.” George Burns“Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.” Sharon Stone“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.” Jack Nicholson“Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks his car or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.” Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)“Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.” Robin Williams“According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do.
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