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I was embarrassed with myself by the fact that I had even thought that he was stealing, I told him to give the plastic to me and that I would throw it for him, after handing me the plastic I went over to the kitchen and opened the cabin under the sink to throw the piece of plastic into the trash can, as I was bending over I felt that someone was watching me I turned around rather quickly to find no one standing there. I felt like a fool not only did I think he was a burglar but also a pervert, what a fool I was. The truth was that I was making all of these things up in my mind because I was lonely, deep inside me I wanted someone to look at my huge behind.A couple of days had gone by and my thoughts had been raging inside me like a wild horse itching for a carrot, only I was not itching for a carrot. It was already past six, and I was preparing dinner as usual, my son Peter was sleeping over at his friend’s house, while my husband was working late again and my son Brian was out with. I guess I’ve been thinking about what you were talking about. I mean trying to live a good life, getting clean and off the drugs. I thought maybe I could do the same. I mean I’ve been clean and sober for a hundred and fifty-eight days now, but here I am. Sitting in a bar when I should be out there working.’ ‘You know we’re both alike.’ Morris said. I thought about it for a minute and then looked at him. ‘What do you mean?’ ‘Well, we both want what we think is unattainable. We both want to be clean, we both want to stay on the straight and narrow, we both want someone to love us, to somehow validate our lives. To us, we need that validation. We can’t just wake up and say, ‘I’m a good person. I deserve to live. I deserve to be happy’. We need something or someone to tell us this constantly, on a daily basis.’ I sat there, running my finger around the rim of the glass in front of me. Morris tapped me on the shoulder. ‘And we’re both recovering addicts sitting in Las Vegas, staring.
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