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Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-hole's name.3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.AND A BONUS RULE:6. Condoms do not guarantee safe sex;A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband!This one is compliments of johnRamblings of a Retired MindI found this timely, because today I was in a store that sells sunglasses, and only sunglasses. A young lady walks over to me and asks, "What brings you in today?"I looked at her, and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator." She didn't quite know how to respond.Am I getting to be that age?I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So I'm wearing my garage door opener.I was thinking about old age and decided that old. I stopped, sought to catch Helen’s eyes. I wanted to apologise for what I feared sounded like boasting. Helen was deep in thought. So, I told her that although each one of these wonderful women was different, all of them were like her in being so fully, sexually alive. With her, totally by chance, I had found once again another ideal lover. It was a miracle that we found each other, beyond anything I expected or would have hoped to have again in my life.I concluded by telling Helen that for me, she was not only stunningly beautiful and sexy. In every minute of our love-making today, she had been a sensual, generous, withholding nothing revelation. I was swept away and along by her brave, shame-free openness to sexual pleasure.To ease the too severe mood without disregarding truth, I concluded: -“If I have managed to half-satisfy you today as a lover, it is not because I am a sophisticated philanderer. I have not slept with – wanted - another woman than my wife for close to eleven.
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