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I plunge head first into everything I do.I do not get weekends off or public holidays.I work in a damp environment.I don't get paid overtime.I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.I work in high temperatures.My work exposes me to contagious diseases.MANAGEMENT REPLYDear Penis:After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons: You do not work 8 hours straight.You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.You do not always follow the orders of the management team.You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other restricted areas.You do not take initiative.You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.You'll retire well before reaching 65.You're unable to work double shifts.You. I was patient.Kim’s sixty-four. Willis is fifty-something. There won't be any hormonal urges. Know what I mean?When I could, I put the two of them together. She likes him. He likes her. He’s awkward talking to her when I’m around. I say nice things about him. He does things for her or to be noticed by her. These are all good signs.He’s a good man. Divorced. Volunteers for community shit. Talked her into helping him a couple of times. She came home buzzed about it.She’s chatty about him around me. I encouraged her to talk to him. I told her he doesn’t have anyone to talk to. I said he’d appreciate it if she spent time just talking to him. Not easy, I said, to have new friends that don’t know his ex. She thought about that. That was another good sign.We had another cook out maybe three weeks later. Same as before; same people, same me. I made myself scarce when I could. Towards the end I suggested we all go on a picnic next weekend. To the state park. Willis said yes immediately. None.
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