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Time to myself, silence, apart from the tide running on the river and the wildlife. The snort of a fox I'd met two days before. We were walking in opposite directions on the same narrow path, the noise of his irritation at my arrogance to be on the same piece of ground as him at this time of the morning. His obvious displeasure at my presence, his eyes meeting mine, then, hardly giving me a second glance as he slipped past me, still walking and disappeared the way I had come. An encounter of maybe ten seconds. This morning it had been an otter. Who knew what tomorrow might bring? But that morning, almost two years before, had brought something else. There was a natural lookout with a bench on which I loved to sit. It overlooked the tidal reach of the river and was the perfect vantage point. I had to navigate a detour and then a small climb to get there. A hidden secret spot which I thought of as my own. I was invisible, at least it seemed that way, it was my secret but another. .as a futur husband, father ,life partner.but after years passing by i discovered that we dont have that sexual chemistry that i was looking for .maybe cz i am fucked up mentally ,maybe cz i have my own fetishes that my partner dont like..such as being a dominant tho i can go both ways dominant and a submissive .i met a guy over social media he's cute,handsome,smart and young my age alsohe had something in him that intimidates me each time he talks to me,his ego ,his arrogance,his character i dont know but i like itand alot.and i knew the moment that i started talking to him that i'm in trouble ...and after a short period of time , weeks of talking I started to desire him,fantasize about him but never showed him that. Until we met live.i was terrified that i will desire him more than usual . and my filthy dirty thoughts wont help me at all.in someway he knew ,he was smart enough to figure it out..I like teasing and to be teased I never liked easy ways. even in bed.the lust in his.
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