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Obviously not.My mother wasn't what you'd call beautiful or even very sexy, but she was my mother and I loved her. I began to realize that perhaps my father wasn't regularly doing Mom when I was rifling through their chest of drawers one time and I came across a box of condoms there. So, I figured since there were rubbers, that meant that Daddy and Mommy used them whenever they'd fuck. When I went through their drawers again several months later and the same number of condoms was there as the first time, I immedately started to suspect that Dad and Mom weren't getting it on regularly. Too bad for Mom. I know if Dad had insisted, Mom would have been more than willing to accomodate him. At least that's what I think now after what happened with my Mom.Dad had passed away unexpectedly on Wednesday and then I found myself alone at home with my mom. She was in her 40's at that point and she was healthy and still looking pretty good. One night she asked me to come to her bedroom just before. Another thing I found out about me is that I indeed like men.My nights got much better and most of them I slept just fine. But Istill had a lot of dreams about being Charles and also nightmareswhich were quite similar to the ones I had in the hospital on my firstnight. And they always felt pretty real and it took me a while torecover from. With it was a constant fear that I would transform backinto Charles. Sometimes when just sitting in a Costa's or something.Luckily that got better over time and was once a month top. Some goodballads, Birdy, London Grammar or Lana del Rey, are bringing methrough those moments. Nothing beats a good cry with melancholicsounds. And when I'm happy that music makes me happy too.Catherine and I got along so well. It was almost unbelievable.Although we couldn't see each other as often if we liked to, we triedeverything to see each other at least twice a month. We weren't justsisters; we were also best mates. Sorry, Ian.Jobwise my life got a bit better. I.
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