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" I gestured at my body with my hands to emphasize the totality of it. "Those pep-talks you gave me are at least partially the reason you got laid earlier." I saw him wince at that one and I was immediately sorry I had said it, but God-damn it, I was beginning to really respect his advice. I didn't want to find out now that he had said those things just to shut me up or keep me from becoming hysterical. I wanted to believe that he had cared about the way I felt and was working to make the problem better for me. In retrospect, I guess that if I had believed otherwise, I probably wouldn't have wanted to have sex with him either, so, in a way, his thoughts and words had seduced me. I wanted to believe that he cared about me. Gary looked over at me clearly upset. "You don't understand. It's easy to give advice from the outside of any situation. Sometimes the people outside have the clearest view of what's really wrong. I meant every word of what I said to you. Hell, if you weren't the. Maybe he was just hard because she didnt give it to him. Dont do this Steph, his voice snapped my eyes up to his. He tenderly stroked my cheek, our gaze holding. If youre trying to prove something it wont work. I love you and I promise Im not going anywhere. It was ridiculous how well he knew me. He hadnt even considered that with me gone we wouldnt be together for a whole month. His main priority was helping me and seeing to it that I was not in distress. I broke our gaze. I have to Dad. I cant do this anymore. I cant keep being your sex toy. My voice broke over those last two words. As much as I wanted to call it something different, to call me his lover, his soulmate, his sweetheart, I knew I couldnt. When everything was said and done I was his sex toy. I did what he wanted when he wanted. When it came to him I had no backbone and no resolve. I was his toy to do with as he pleased. Baby you are everything but. He leaned over and rested his forehead against mine. My hands reached.
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