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Our gas stove had way too many buttons and in search of the right one I lit the wrong stove top which in turn set my sleeve on fire. In blind, white terror I felt someone else take control of my body and take me over to the sink, running cold water all over my sleeve to put the flames out. But it was too late, and the room had already filled with the putrid smell of burning fibers, my sleeve gently smoldering in the after flames. I might have heard the smoke detector beep somewhere in the distance, but it could have been those chicks hatching as well, immediately needing me. Suddenly she was six again, watching her mother from the corner of the kitchen, baby fat legs stretched out against the cold tiles of the floor, her Barbie dolls spread around her like an army, she, the general. The room was eerily dark, with a spring thunderstorm just outside the window, threatening the strength of it with loud claps of thunder, the only light provided by candles taken home from church. There. Mrs. Valmaat, you were the cook." I've heard that before," I said.Wendy just nodded, pushing the three seat pram with the triplets in it."Do you know," she said, "Your children have never mentioned babies ... not once." They don't like to admit that their parents have sex." Wendy said."We have reached the limit of their Squick factor."In a perfect imitation of Inkeri's voice, Wendy said, "You already produced perfection ... why are you still trying?" Replacements," I said. "I told them we were producing replacements." Oh! You didn't?" the teacher asked."Yes ... we did," Wendy said."That's funny," she said."We weren't joking," Wendy and I said, straight faced.She looked shocked.But we couldn't keep it up, and we both cracked up."Now, your children persist in telling the other students that you are on a round the world voyage." She saw the grins. "You are? I mean ... really?" As soon as school is out we will be sailing through the Canal and over to Hawaii ... unless we go to New.
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